


all my love is of a strange, confusing kind

by meowvelous



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Background Relationships, Comfort No Hurt, Gen, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, Sexuality Crisis, good parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27511864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowvelous/pseuds/meowvelous
Summary: Her eyes lingered on a pretty girl around her age, with sun bleached hair and a scattering of freckles across her face, before Ciri forced herself to look away.“You know…” Geralt began to say, as he set down his tankard of ale. “Talking to girls is a lot more effective than just staring at them.”His words felt like someone dumping a bucket of ice water on her; a mix of shock and shame rose up in her throat, but anger quickly took its place. She glared at him, and then got up, silently storming away and slipping out the door.-Geralt accidentally hurts Ciri's feelings; Jaskier talks it over with her and helps her feel better. Because, luckily for her, Ciri has two dads.
Relationships: Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 2
Kudos: 61





	all my love is of a strange, confusing kind

**Author's Note:**

> Content warning for mild themes of heteronormativity, homophobia, and internalized homophobia. Also I tried to stay away from binarist wording or other language that erases the existence of nonbinary people. 
> 
> Features background Geralt/Jaskier, but not enough for me to tag for it, I figure. Mentioned Yennefer/Various Others. Let me know if I should tag/warn for anything else.
> 
> This was written as a gift to myself, because you can pry lesbian Ciri from my cold, dead hands. She's about fourteen or fifteen in this story.
> 
> Title from [The Cricket And The Hamster by PhemieC](https://phemiec.bandcamp.com/track/the-cricket-and-the-hamster), which meant the world to me as a tiny terrified baby lesbian, and still means a lot to me.

It had been a fairly typical evening for their little family; Geralt and Ciri had returned from a hunt around dinner-time, and they were eating while Jaskier was playing a set of songs for the audience that had gathered in the inn.

When they had finished their meal, Ciri’s gaze skipped over the crowd, automatically scanning for anyone who looked like they were going to cause trouble. Her eyes lingered on a pretty girl around her age, with sun bleached hair and a scattering of freckles across her face, before Ciri forced herself to look away.

“You know…” Geralt began to say, as he set down his tankard of ale. “Talking to girls is a lot more effective than just staring at them.”

His words felt like someone dumping a bucket of ice water on her; a mix of shock and shame rose up in her throat, but anger quickly took its place. She glared at him, and then got up, silently storming away and slipping out the door.

As the door shut behind her, Ciri took a shuddering breath. She scrubbed a hand over her face, which felt hot. Despite the glamour hiding her true appearance, she knew better than to wander far. Instead, Ciri went to the stable.

After saying hi to Roach and Buttercup (Jaskier’s horse), she lingered in the stall of her horse, Broonie. Trying to quiet her mind, so it was still like a blanket of snow, Ciri pet Broonie’s muzzle as she tried to match her breathing to his.

The sound of footsteps behind her made her tense. Hand on the pommel on her sword, Ciri quickly turned, and relaxed when she saw it was Jaskier. “I thought you were still performing.” She felt a pang of guilt, at the idea of him stepping away from his set because of her.

“I was almost done anyway,” Jaskier said lightly, leaning against the outside of the stall. “I thought you’d prefer me over Geralt right now, anyway.” Silently, Ciri tilted her head, conceding his point. “What happened exactly?”

“I—” Ciri had to swallow down the feelings that rose as she recalled Geralt’s words. “It’s stupid.” She said dismissively.

“If it upset you, it wasn’t stupid.” Jaskier gently corrected. He let that linger in the air for a moment, before he continued; “Geralt told me he was teasing you, and it upset you. Is that fair?” Ciri hesitated, and then nodded.

Absent-mindedly nodding, Jaskier looked aside for a moment before refocusing on Ciri. “I was lucky, in a way; I grew up knowing certain… dalliances were allowed, between me and other boys.” He smiled ruefully. “But I knew something was different, in that I always took it more seriously than them. And it wasn’t until Oxenfurt that I realized I didn’t have to choose between liking men and women, or those who didn’t fit in either category.”

Her hands were shaking; Ciri fisted them and swallowed, before she spoke, voice quiet and trembling; “I never understood why I couldn’t see myself with a husband, even though I knew I had to marry one, until one of the maids got thrown out when she was caught in a noblewoman’s bed. I didn’t know that was an option until then.”

“After that, it’s only ever been other women.” There were tears in her eyes as she looked up at Jaskier. “Is— Is there something wrong with me?” Ciri knew Geralt and Jaskier loved each other; and that Yennefer had female lovers in the past. But she also knew all three didn’t have a particular preference.

“Oh dear heart, no.” Jaskier quickly assured her, reaching out to take one of her hands in his, to give it a reassuring squeeze. “My dear friend Essi, remember, I’ve sung you her songs — She only took in the company of other women. She’s married now, or as good as. Next time we’re in Oxenfurt, I’ll take you to meet her and her wife.”

Slowly, Ciri nodded, though there was still a part of her that didn’t believe him; that two women could build a life together. She just couldn’t imagine it, not without having seen it or heard about it in a story.

He seemed to read her hesitance, and Jaskier smiled ruefully. “I’m _definitely_ going to get you some of Hélène Hintra’s books next time we’re in a city.” When Ciri looked confused, he clarified; “She writes romances between women. I remember Essi speaking highly about them.”

First she was surprised that books like that _existed_ , but then Ciri tentatively smiled. “I’d like that.” She admitted, suddenly desperately craving a story that didn’t end with a man and a woman going into the sunset together.

“Excellent.” Jaskier gave her hand another gentle squeeze before releasing it. “Now, we should get back to the tavern, so Geralt can apologize to you.” 

Ciri made her way out of the stall and met him near the door. Before they could head back in, she stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Pater? Thank you.” Ciri stepped forward and hugged him. 

He hugged her back. “You’re welcome, dear heart.” Jaskier pressed a kiss to the top of her head, and then waited for her to step away. “Ready?” He asked, putting a hand on the handle. Ciri nodded, and he opened the door.

**Author's Note:**

> Also pater is (as far as I can tell), a really old way of saying 'dad'. I figured Ciri calls Geralt "dad", so I needed another way for her to acknowledge Jaskier as a paternal figure.


End file.
